This week Jesus met me at the cross, in a new way. Very unexpectedly. Sure my Father had been telling me He was doing a new thing. I was to enter into a new season of healing of which He has been showing me, is going to be different from all other seasons of healing I went through. It is going to be deeper and it is not by my doing. My Father has told me to walk and just show up…
I went to church Tuesday evening, to show up… Jesus had a plan for me. I will spare you the details for now but Jesus took me personally to the cross.
When Jesus hung at the cross and seemed to have died, people wanted to be sure. And so they took a spear and poked it right into his side. He didn’t budge and they knew He was ‘gone’.
When I was crying out all my wounds on Tuesday: father wounds, rejection wounds, incest wounds, you name it wounds… I finally landed at mother wounds. I have never really thought about me having mother wounds because wasn’t it my dad who abused me? And God showed me that I had wounds way before I was ever abused, mother wounds. At some point I was asked where Jesus was when I was being abused. And I said: “He just stood there. He did nothing!” and I sobbed. My hands were pulled out in front of me by the pastor… would I fill my hands with my mother wounds, with my rejection wounds? Would I walk to the cross and stick it right into Jesus’ bleeding heart? Right there, where it belongs. Right there… that is why Jesus died. For my wounds, my aches, my hurts. I am not alone. He has felt it all. He knows. And right there, He shows me He never ‘just stood there and did nothing’. THIS is what He is doing at the cross. And I understood. I felt it. And I will never look the same at the cross. Jesus took me to the cross and let me feel it. My Heavenly Father, although it looked horrible, loved on me in a very sweet way.
STOP!
I love that you are here and I certainly would love to hear from you. To leave a comment go HERE ?
Oct032014
5 Minute Friday… New
Writing under pressure… It is very simple, on Thursday evening a word prompt is shared by Kate and on Friday we give ourselves 5 minutes to write.
5 minutes!! And without a grammar check or editing we post whatever came to our creative minds…
This week’s word is NEW…
Ready… Set… Go…
This week Jesus met me at the cross, in a new way. Very unexpectedly. Sure my Father had been telling me He was doing a new thing. I was to enter into a new season of healing of which He has been showing me, is going to be different from all other seasons of healing I went through. It is going to be deeper and it is not by my doing. My Father has told me to walk and just show up…
I went to church Tuesday evening, to show up… Jesus had a plan for me. I will spare you the details for now but Jesus took me personally to the cross.
When Jesus hung at the cross and seemed to have died, people wanted to be sure. And so they took a spear and poked it right into his side. He didn’t budge and they knew He was ‘gone’.
When I was crying out all my wounds on Tuesday: father wounds, rejection wounds, incest wounds, you name it wounds… I finally landed at mother wounds. I have never really thought about me having mother wounds because wasn’t it my dad who abused me? And God showed me that I had wounds way before I was ever abused, mother wounds. At some point I was asked where Jesus was when I was being abused. And I said: “He just stood there. He did nothing!” and I sobbed. My hands were pulled out in front of me by the pastor… would I fill my hands with my mother wounds, with my rejection wounds? Would I walk to the cross and stick it right into Jesus’ bleeding heart? Right there, where it belongs. Right there… that is why Jesus died. For my wounds, my aches, my hurts. I am not alone. He has felt it all. He knows. And right there, He shows me He never ‘just stood there and did nothing’. THIS is what He is doing at the cross. And I understood. I felt it. And I will never look the same at the cross. Jesus took me to the cross and let me feel it. My Heavenly Father, although it looked horrible, loved on me in a very sweet way.
STOP!
I love that you are here and I certainly would love to hear from you. To leave a comment go HERE ?
This week Jesus met me at the cross, in a new way. Very unexpectedly. Sure my Father had been telling me He was doing a new thing. I was to enter into a new season of healing of which He has been showing me, is going to be different from all other seasons of healing I went through. It is going to be deeper and it is not by my doing. My Father has told me to walk and just show up…
I went to church Tuesday evening, to show up… Jesus had a plan for me. I will spare you the details for now but Jesus took me personally to the cross.
When Jesus hung at the cross and seemed to have died, people wanted to be sure. And so they took a spear and poked it right into his side. He didn’t budge and they knew He was ‘gone’.
When I was crying out all my wounds on Tuesday: father wounds, rejection wounds, incest wounds, you name it wounds… I finally landed at mother wounds. I have never really thought about me having mother wounds because wasn’t it my dad who abused me? And God showed me that I had wounds way before I was ever abused, mother wounds. At some point I was asked where Jesus was when I was being abused. And I said: “He just stood there. He did nothing!” and I sobbed. My hands were pulled out in front of me by the pastor… would I fill my hands with my mother wounds, with my rejection wounds? Would I walk to the cross and stick it right into Jesus’ bleeding heart? Right there, where it belongs. Right there… that is why Jesus died. For my wounds, my aches, my hurts. I am not alone. He has felt it all. He knows. And right there, He shows me He never ‘just stood there and did nothing’. THIS is what He is doing at the cross. And I understood. I felt it. And I will never look the same at the cross. Jesus took me to the cross and let me feel it. My Heavenly Father, although it looked horrible, loved on me in a very sweet way.
STOP!
I love that you are here and I certainly would love to hear from you. To leave a comment go HERE ?
This morning Tim reminded me that in the past, when change was at hand, life would always shut down for me. Change equals healing here. And he is right, my healing has always been so intense that it would be what I focused on. I would give it my all and yes, often I was not able to do life because I went so deep.
I always expected my past to come up once I would be married, in ways that I wasn’t triggered before. Marriage comes with commitment, with marriage comes intimacy, and not just sexual intimacy, and I was sure it would stir up certain memories, aches and fears. And that is exactly what has been happening. And I am glad, glad that it doesn’t stop there. God has more wholeness for me, more healing and He is bringing me to a beautiful place. A place where I will want to shout out more for His glory, because of His healing work in me.
Healing is something I still seek after. It is why I have another season of healing ahead of me. I am going to do a 4 month ‘program’ called 
