Writing under pressure… It is very simple, on Thursday evening a word prompt is shared by Kate and on Friday we give ourselves 5 minutes to write.
5 minutes!! And without a grammar check or editing we post whatever came to our creative minds…
This week’s word is NEW…
Ready… Set… Go…
This week Jesus met me at the cross, in a new way. Very unexpectedly. Sure my Father had been telling me He was doing a new thing. I was to enter into a new season of healing of which He has been showing me, is going to be different from all other seasons of healing I went through. It is going to be deeper and it is not by my doing. My Father has told me to walk and just show up…
I went to church Tuesday evening, to show up… Jesus had a plan for me. I will spare you the details for now but Jesus took me personally to the cross.
When Jesus hung at the cross and seemed to have died, people wanted to be sure. And so they took a spear and poked it right into his side. He didn’t budge and they knew He was ‘gone’.
When I was crying out all my wounds on Tuesday: father wounds, rejection wounds, incest wounds, you name it wounds… I finally landed at mother wounds. I have never really thought about me having mother wounds because wasn’t it my dad who abused me? And God showed me that I had wounds way before I was ever abused, mother wounds. At some point I was asked where Jesus was when I was being abused. And I said: “He just stood there. He did nothing!” and I sobbed. My hands were pulled out in front of me by the pastor… would I fill my hands with my mother wounds, with my rejection wounds? Would I walk to the cross and stick it right into Jesus’ bleeding heart? Right there, where it belongs. Right there… that is why Jesus died. For my wounds, my aches, my hurts. I am not alone. He has felt it all. He knows. And right there, He shows me He never ‘just stood there and did nothing’. THIS is what He is doing at the cross. And I understood. I felt it. And I will never look the same at the cross. Jesus took me to the cross and let me feel it. My Heavenly Father, although it looked horrible, loved on me in a very sweet way.
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From hopeless to hope.
From hurting to healing.
From surviving to living.
From crying to laughing.
That is my story. It wasn't easy.
The road of healing is the hardest one to choose. Sometimes it seems easier to bury or hide. But healing and recovery are possible. With God all things are possible! But it doesn't mean God does for us. It is my experience that I had to choose and work hard myself, with God on my side. God doesn't fix for me, He fixes through me. It is a painful process worth living.
The story continues.
The chapter may be closed.
The book however isn't.
I have reached the wonderful chapter of marriage.
2012 was my year. I love sharing life now and never want to forget what God has given me and done for me. Redemption is a word that was said most on our wedding day. We each have suffered much and God deserves all praise for having been faithful and leading in times of trouble. He overcame and His redemptive power is amazing and I want to witness to that. We do not live for ourselves but for Him.
Like I said, the story continues.
With it's ups and downs. Embracing that journey is what makes life life. It's not important where I go, it's how I go.
Isaiah 62: 1-5
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
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