Hope

Jun292016

Here we go again…

Rejection, unkindness, silent treatment, rolling eyes, even nastiness… all coming at me once again. It hurts, and I have been told that because I can let it hurt me, our match was successful with boy 1. Our match will also be successful with boy 2.

But it really does hurt and it really is not an easy thing.  And the next months will look just like that.  But it will come to pass. Our first boy worked through it in amazing ways and we find ourselves now having fun, joking around and spending one on one time together.  We long for that now.

Why are my emotions necessary?  The boys need to see me connect with them even if I hurt because of them.  I express my emotions healthily, they do know when I am hurt by their actions, yet I do not walk away, withdraw or get mean in return.  For some reason this is intricate to their healing.  Healthy, but difficult bonding!

I get through it because I have friends who will always receive my texts about the heaviness of it all, no matter how many of them. I get through it because Tim and I will take breaks. I get through it because friends will happily take our boys for a bit. I get through it because we did it once before, and we can do it again.  I get through it because God is not silent.

One day, we will have two boys who are better at trusting people, one day we will have two boys who know what true love is, one day we will have two boys who will return home after college because bonding did happen.  It is not too late and we pray God’s mighty power over all of us.  We all need healing, we all need to trust, we all need to know love in better and true ways.

 

I love that you are here and I certainly would love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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May092016

Pure Joy

… when you find this on your porch !MaddyChristine Hope Photography-7101.L

I love that you are here.  And I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

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Jan222016

Grateful for the fight

But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever.
Psalm 52:8

Yesterday Tim and I got talking about how good it is to have something to fight for!  From the beginning of our lives, we both learned how to fight quickly so we just do not know life without a fight.  And now that life is good for both of us, we see ourselves fighting again, in lots of different ways, for lots of different things.  And it wasn’t till yesterday that we stood still and realized the blessing of a good fight.  We just can’t imagine living life without having something to fight for.

The blessing is that the fight is hard, and we can’t fight alone.  We are required to spend time with God daily to get our focus, our strength, wisdom, to get care for our heart.  And that is such an amazing thing.  Any fight is hard, and painful, and a great source of stress.  It takes energy and to sit in my car last night being filled with God’s presence is such an amazing thing.  I just can describe it, you have to live it to understand.  And all I could do was praise over and over again: God, thank you for being faithful to my heart!

I write this post in honor of my friend Vicky , who fights a good fight.  Her fight, like so many, is pretty unfair, yet, she won’t tell you that.  Vicky only speaks of how good God is in the fight!!

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

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Jan132016

It’s okay not to be okay

MaddyChristine Hope Photography-0861.KHDon’t worry, I have been doing really well but I did run into a quote last week that I found very powerful.  This quote hits home for me since I do know life to be a roller coaster.  People, ask for help when life gets hard… You’d be surprised how many are ready to come along side you, sharing the weight.  You will be loved!

 

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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Jan062016

This is Glory to me

Sun                                                                                                                                                                                     Beaming through the window                                                                                                                                                                                     The art of shadows                                                                                                                                                                                     Picturing this pictureMaddyChristine Hope Photography-6831.L

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

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Jul222015

Treasure in Jars of Clay

MaddyChristine Hope Photography-4610.Scripture

Not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed.

I am sitting on the plane, back from Haiti, and taking in these words.  It has been an unbelievably hard week and I need to read those words over and over again.  God is allowing me to be hard pressed on every side, he is allowing me to be perplexed and persecuted and He saw me get struck down.  And he is bringing me to this: His promise that I always carry with me the death of Jesus.  Death is at work in me, so that life can be at work in you (those around me).

I am to be a source of life.  It takes determination, selflesness, constant forgiveness to be a source of life in the midst of the hatred, brokenness, and cruelty I have been through this past week.  At times, I doubt I can do this.  But God brings me back to this treasure I have because of Him.

I do not know the outcome.  I just want to believe it can be done: Every child from a hard place can heal!!

We are back in the therapist’s office as soon as we are home.  I am ready to reconcile and love but I have to wait for our boy to ‘break’.  The question is not: Do we want to keep him?  The question is: Does he want a family?  Does he want us?  And if so, will he submit to the natural authority that parents have over a child?  Will he let himself learn to love and be loved?

Please pray for what we are trying to do in our home.  Please pray for our boy, he is in desperate need for rescue but he has got to submit.  Pray he CAN maintain in a home and accept love.  Pray he stops resisting out of pure trauma and brokenness.  Please pray for perseverance for Tim and myself.  Pray we WILL BE Christ like and continue to know and feel we will not be crushed, in despair, abandoned or destroyed.  This all-surpassing power is from God.  In Him it is possible.  Pray for Hope!

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE ! ~ Also, be sure to check back in (or sign up for ‘Notify me of new comments’) because I may have left you a word or two in response ~

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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