We all know it… the lies we tell ourselves. And at the moment I am going through a bad case of it. Lately I have been very aware when I’d tell myself negative things. I just kept witnessing it… till Thursday. I was out on a walk and said to myself: “Maddy, this is not normal anymore. This is unhealthy. This is wrong and this is not what God would ever tell you. He created you and thinks beautiful and amazing things about you.” And it wasn’t till Friday, when I met with my Spiritual Director again, that I realized I actually have to take action.
I hear lies all day long, in all situations, with all different kinds of people. It is ongoing throughout the day. I remember my therapist years ago tell me that they are not just lies in my head… I am telling myself those things! And so it is up to me to battle this, a battle I don’t have to face alone. Thank God!
I can be hanging out with dear friends and tell myself I do not compare. When people around me have intellectual conversations, I tell myself I am dumb and can’t entertain the conversation. My camera has been living more in the camera bag than in my hands because I tell myself I am really bad at taking photos. When friends do not call me it is a confirmation that I really do not matter. When I set a much needed boundary for myself I tell myself I am a selfish person. When I get excited I tell myself I am too loud, too present and no one likes that about me. I constantly tell myself I am not a good wife, I don’t love my husband well and life for him is harder with me in it. I can go on and on. It’s bad!
This is not an easy thing to battle, it’s also not done overnight. I have battled those things previously in my life and I am sad they are back. One thing I know, the enemy has a grip on me.
God was good last week as I tried to sit with Him and have a sweet time. He said some things:
“ MaddyChristine, I have given you worth. See, it’s that simple, you have worth because I created you. You have worth because I created you in a very specific way. When I look at you, I am filled with joy. I delight in you and I rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17). I love you as you are. Before I formed you, I knew you (Jeremiah 1:5). I wove you in your mother’s womb, you are wonderfully and fearfully made (Psalm 139: 13-14). My works are wonderful Maddy.
I still know the plans I have for you, I still have the same plans I told you about years ago. I plan to prosper you, not to harm you. I still give you a Future and a Hope (Jeremiah 29:11).
I laid down my life for YOU (1 John 3:16-17). And to remind you, you are saved by grace. I didn’t save you because you have done righteous things (Titus 3:5) This is not your own doing, it is My gift (Ephesians 2:8). And that gift gives you worth. Know love Maddy, embrace that.
You are My chosen one: holy and beloved. Have compassion on your self. Be kind to yourself, speak kind words. Be very gently and be patient with yourself as you struggle, as you learn, as you grown (Colossians 3:12-14). Remember… think about things that are true, right, honorable, just, pure, lovely and admirable (Philippians 4:8-9). You are Mine forever and you are My Valuable possession.”
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satan starts attacking us harder when God is about to do something AMAZING in our lives. God reminded me this morning in my quiet time that HE defeated the grave, sin is dead, therefore fear has no room in our lives! fear is from the enemy and he is a liar! You, my friend, are an overcomer through Jesus. We can & will triumph over this negativity. Proclaim it over your life & walk in the freedom He has placed you in. “therefore if the Son makes you free, you are free indeed.” john 8:36!
-Katie
http://www.hotteaandtheemptyseat.com
Thanks for the encouragement Katie!
<3
He lieve Maddy,
Ik vind het altijd zo leuk om je blog te lezen. Echt genieten. Je bent zo eerlijk en kan alles zo mooi zeggen! Ik ben vaak echt onder de indruk hoe open je durft te zijn om anderen te zegenen. Je bent zo’n mooie vrouw! En je bent me dierbaar.
Hoe prachtig wat God tegen je zei. WOW echt een geweldige liefdeverklaring. Ik hoop en bid voor je dat dat fundament heel diep zal wortelen in je hart! En dat God je door zijn ogen naar jezelf mag laten kijken!
Ik ben heel benieuwd naar alle geweldige plannen die God voor je heeft!
Liefs Joline
Lieve Joline,
Je woorden raken mij diep en zijn op hun beurt ook heel mooi.
Liefs
That is a picture of a beautiful, smart, creative, and value able girl! God chose you Maddy to be in his family, to pick up arms against the enemy. The lies are there to make you feel you are not worthy or strong enough to lift a shield or aim a sword, but they are just that, lies. Your strength and grace leave fields of flowers to Gods glory wherever you go!
Hey lieve Maddy,
Wat mooi en kwetsbaar wat je schrijft.En ik herken het lieverd! Ik heb vorig jaar in therapie ook weer geleerd dat het delen en uitspreken ook weer genezing brengt.En je staat hier zeker niet alleen in.Maddy,je bent een PAREL in GOD’S hand!!! Dikke knuffel,marja.
Hoi Maddy
Je moet echt je leven in zijn hand leggen en maak je sterker door het woord te lezen zodat het kwade geen grip meer op je kan krijgen, weet dat God je vertrouwd en dat hij van je houd een ieder die zijn leven in Zijn handen legt laat hij nooit meer los Twijfel niet aan je zelf wij zijn niet perfect alleen ziet God ons wel als zo aan probeer liefde vol en oprecht te leven dat is wat God wil.
Liefs Wilco
beautifully written and well said! I find myself searching where I also tell and beleive lies. So thank you for posting,Maddy, and know that you are not alone in your journey!