From hopeless to hope.
From hurting to healing.
From surviving to living.
From crying to laughing.
That is my story. It wasn't easy.
The road of healing is the hardest one to choose. Sometimes it seems easier to bury or hide. But healing and recovery are possible. With God all things are possible! But it doesn't mean God does for us. It is my experience that I had to choose and work hard myself, with God on my side. God doesn't fix for me, He fixes through me. It is a painful process worth living.
The story continues.
The chapter may be closed.
The book however isn't.
I have reached the wonderful chapter of marriage.
2012 was my year. I love sharing life now and never want to forget what God has given me and done for me. Redemption is a word that was said most on our wedding day. We each have suffered much and God deserves all praise for having been faithful and leading in times of trouble. He overcame and His redemptive power is amazing and I want to witness to that. We do not live for ourselves but for Him.
Like I said, the story continues.
With it's ups and downs. Embracing that journey is what makes life life. It's not important where I go, it's how I go.
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
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For years THIS is the day I would arrive in the Philly area. My yearly house sitting job would start and I was always excited about it. I remember looking forward to some hot summery weather, finally, for in Holland summer was never a sure thing. I’d have a pool for 3 whole weeks! I remember looking forward to spending time with my dear friend Melissa. During the year we’d spend hours and hours on Skype, finally we’d have 3 weeks in person. I remember looking forward to 3 Sundays in church, church in Holland was never the same. I couldn’t wait to see deer in the yard when I’d sit down with my coffee for quiet time. And my annual trip to Amish country and my Amish friends was another highlight.
Today I arrived on my house sitting job. That has not changed. But that is the only thing that didn’t change. Instead of an 8 hour flight… it took me 40 minutes to get here today. And I think back… back to those years where I’d house sit. Always having a great time, but also feeling somewhat alone. Having my quiet time on the porch and my long walks in the neighborhood talking to God were precious, but I do remember talking to God about feeling alone at times. Would I ever be here, house sitting, with a husband? Summer after summer I’d have that ache and I truly wondered if it would ever be given to me.
It’s good to look back and remember. It is good to look back and feel, to feel those emotions of the past for it sure makes today very sweet. This year I am house sitting for the 2nd year WITH my husband. Last year we had a blast. Having a constant flow of friends popping in, sharing dinners and fun in the pool. I will still have my quiet time on that porch, I will still go on my walks taking to God… but the ache of aloness is replaced with celebration and gratefulness, for I am here with Tim. God has been good and Tim is my true gift.
And that is not all there is to celebrate because in 2 days there is another special date. Two years ago, on July 27th, I arrived in the States to marry my love. It’s another sweet date that deserves thought and gratefulness.
Maybe I will write about it some other time… but I have struggled with some darkness lately and these special dates are a sweet reminder of God’s faithfulness and loving gifts to me. God reminds me of the new name He gave me. There is always Hope, I can always have Hope. In these dark days God reminds me of His goodness to me, He has never failed. He reminds me of those house sitting days when I ached. And He shows me how different life is today. I am married. Melissa and I can see one another whenever we’d like and this time I was even around when she had her baby. The church I loved for those few weeks per year I now call home. God is good, and although life gets tough and dark… I can have hope that the darkness will come to pass, God will heal and in the mean time I look back and remember…
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