I can go back to a lot of things since my last post in 2018, it was a turbulent year. But one thing I am being lead to is to embrace the new, with ease! So there ya go, a great topic for a year that started just 14 days ago…

E A S E … it is my word for 2019!  

And surprisingly to me, it came with such ease.  I remember last year, where I took weeks and weeks to settle on my word for the year.  I was engaging in spiritual practices and took it seriously, and I took the time. I wanted to make sure I RECEIVED a word and did not pick one myself.  This year, it fell in my lap. I was in a formational prayer session and as my caregiver mentioned the word in a sentence, it simply stood out and it landed.

The past year continued to be filled with stress due to our challenges with raising hurting children (were you aware we have 3 teenagers now?). Being an HSP (High Sensitive Person) didn’t make that easy.  All of this coincided with my own past and brokenness that I always keep dealing with. It all bundled together, not sure where the beginning was, and if there was an end, it certainly didn’t feel like there was.  The stress took away sleep, and by the end of the year, that resulted in, being in pain 24/7. My adrenal glands no longer functioning, muscle pain, bone pain. It felt like my body was shutting down.

And in the middle of all that, Jesus came close and spoke to me.  The messages rather challenging and, for a person like me, surprising.  

The lingering question has been: Why is it so difficult for me to see positive, to feel positive, to be positive?  What is it about me, that holding on to a negative attitude serves me, in some way? And, I possess the art to turn something positive into something negative.  What is the crux here? In my case, as soon as I entered this world, life was negative. Love and protection seemed missing. Somehow, viewing life as negative, seems a ‘weird’ need and, related to this experience.  

And now, in the new, Jesus has new ways for me.  He wants me to focus on POSITIVE rather than always the hard.  He wants me to embrace EASE rather than things always being my hard work.  He wants to bring me to my TRUE SELF, rather than me operating from, and always understanding,  my false self.

What if Jesus BRINGS ease, as a gift?

He will bring healing and perhaps the knowledge about the crux of the matter.  In the coming time, I will sit still and ponder EASE… simply be, as I look at this new way of living, not my own yet. Letting it come my way!

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