Not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed.
I am sitting on the plane, back from Haiti, and taking in these words. It has been an unbelievably hard week and I need to read those words over and over again. God is allowing me to be hard pressed on every side, he is allowing me to be perplexed and persecuted and He saw me get struck down. And he is bringing me to this: His promise that I always carry with me the death of Jesus. Death is at work in me, so that life can be at work in you (those around me).
I am to be a source of life. It takes determination, selflesness, constant forgiveness to be a source of life in the midst of the hatred, brokenness, and cruelty I have been through this past week. At times, I doubt I can do this. But God brings me back to this treasure I have because of Him.
I do not know the outcome. I just want to believe it can be done: Every child from a hard place can heal!!
We are back in the therapist’s office as soon as we are home. I am ready to reconcile and love but I have to wait for our boy to ‘break’. The question is not: Do we want to keep him? The question is: Does he want a family? Does he want us? And if so, will he submit to the natural authority that parents have over a child? Will he let himself learn to love and be loved?
Please pray for what we are trying to do in our home. Please pray for our boy, he is in desperate need for rescue but he has got to submit. Pray he CAN maintain in a home and accept love. Pray he stops resisting out of pure trauma and brokenness. Please pray for perseverance for Tim and myself. Pray we WILL BE Christ like and continue to know and feel we will not be crushed, in despair, abandoned or destroyed. This all-surpassing power is from God. In Him it is possible. Pray for Hope!
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Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real. Go HERE for more stories!
Don’t worry, I have been doing really well but I did run into a quote last week that I found very powerful. This quote hits home for me since I do know life to be a roller coaster. People, ask for help when life gets hard… You’d be surprised how many are ready to come along side you, sharing the weight. You will be loved!
