“It is not easy to be me” is something I actually say out loud, and recently more frequently. In that I find myself needing some answers. I want answers as it feels that answers will make things more bearable some how.
Something grabbed my attention last week and I decided to research. I came across somebody talking about HSP, a highly sensitive person, and the way these people were described… I was described. And what a comfort it gave me. I have been telling Tim quite often that I just feel I need to get away, alone, just for a few days. There is this deep need to get my batteries recharged. I am thinking that if I just take some time away, I will come back energized. But I understand, that Tim doesn’t understand. And it’s not that I need a break from him, or from the boys, in some way I need a break from life.
The more I read, the more I made sense. And then I took some online tests and they all showed that I am an HSP. HSP is not a disorder. It’s not bad, it’s not good, but the world would sure be less of a place without HSP’s. They (I) think deeply, they (I) feel deeply, and seek meaning in everything. They (I) reveal deeply, they (I) are (am) creative, and emotions like love and joy are felt intensely, they are beautiful intense emotions. HSP’s are often extroverts but because they need down time, they are often perceived as introverts. Their depth of processing cannot be seen by others, and because their processing goes so deeply they get overstimulated. They also think constantly; memories keep coming up and I have always wondered why I would still think about what seem silly and unimportant moments from the far away past. And because they (I) take in everything that they (I) see, feel, taste and hear, they (I) do need alone time regularly. Downtime, a rest from all the impulses is a necessity.
And here I am, feeling just different from the people around me. Feeling the need to explain at least to my husband why I’d rather stay home. Or why after having spend days on end with people, or why after a busy afternoon with the boys watching some TV while I was on the computer in the same room, I am simply exhausted. It means I’d like to retrieve to my bed with no noise, no lights, without anything or anyone to take care of. But I can’t explain, I have not been able to make sense of it.
Frankly, I am not 100% sure I am an HSP, but for now I will keep reading about it, and I will keep getting comfort out of what I am reading. And whatever is going on with me, whoever I am, one thing is clear: I want to learn to fully embrace who I am.
That regular break from life seems unrealistic and yet, today I understand that this may be who I am and I may actually find a way to just get away on a regular basis. And in my day to day, I may find that downtime is the key to everything.
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Enjoy the club 😉
I’ve never heard of the term HSP before, but I have discovered that despite what most people think, I am NOT an extrovert. I need time every. single. day. with no noise, no other people, nada. Just me, my cup of coffee, my journal and Jesus. Armed with about 45 minutes of this every single morning (I get up at 4 in order to accomplish this without taking away from anyone in my family), I can make it through the day. Vacations are difficult for me because I have a hard time squeezing that alone time in.
This is interesting- I think I relate to a lot of this as well. It is important to get to know ourselves- how we operate best and what it is that restores and energizes us. Thanks for sharing. Visiting from Coffee for your heart.
I need alone, quiet time. I volunteer at the intermediate school and paint hallway displays. I can count on 3-4 hours of quiet time painting displays in a project room all by myself every Wednesday. No radio. No interruptions. Some people color to calm themselves. I paint knowing that I am doing a beneficial service for the school. I get my private time while helping others. You need to find your ” space” to write, read the Bible, paint, or just enjoy God’s beautiful landscape. It doesn’t require that it benefits anyone but you.
I never heard of the term of HSP but I can relate to some of those traits. For me to recharge I have to be by myself once awhile because I think would go crazy. People sometimes overwhelm me if it is a long period of time. Where and how did you run into this? Your neighbor at coffee for your heart
Hi Kristina, I have heard about HSP before but now it is ringing a bell like never before. Recently I listened to a TED about the topic: https://youtu.be/pi4JOlMSWjo?t=28s and from there I got the book “The highly sensitive person” from the library. Another place to go is: http://hsperson.com All great places to get an understanding about HSP. Let me know where you land with this or if you want to chat… 😉
Maddy! This is a very accurate description of who I am, as well. Miss you dearly. Love you, Rebecca
Beccaaaaaaaa, how wonderful to see you here!! I look you and Sam up every once in a while, it seems life is so creative and expressive for both of you. I love it! Are you ever near me? And I am in NYC quite a bit so we should be able to see one another don’t you think?
Much much much love!
Hi Maddy,
I think I could definitely be this type of person. I love people. I love BIG. I even enjoy entertaining. But I would get exhausted and just need to be alone. I think after years of not allowing myself the time alone, I physically crashed and it contributes to the illnesses I am dealing with now. Love this! I’m so glad I found you at #Coffeeforyouheart! I’d love for you to come join me on Mondays at #MomentsofHope!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Well… “Moments of Hope” sounds just right for me. I will check it out. Loved your visit and your story intrigued me for sure, dealing with some illnesses myself…