From hopeless to hope.
From hurting to healing.
From surviving to living.
From crying to laughing.
That is my story. It wasn't easy.
The road of healing is the hardest one to choose. Sometimes it seems easier to bury or hide. But healing and recovery are possible. With God all things are possible! But it doesn't mean God does for us. It is my experience that I had to choose and work hard myself, with God on my side. God doesn't fix for me, He fixes through me. It is a painful process worth living.
The story continues.
The chapter may be closed.
The book however isn't.
I have reached the wonderful chapter of marriage.
2012 was my year. I love sharing life now and never want to forget what God has given me and done for me. Redemption is a word that was said most on our wedding day. We each have suffered much and God deserves all praise for having been faithful and leading in times of trouble. He overcame and His redemptive power is amazing and I want to witness to that. We do not live for ourselves but for Him.
Like I said, the story continues.
With it's ups and downs. Embracing that journey is what makes life life. It's not important where I go, it's how I go.
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
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It may be clear to you now… God is doing a deep thing in me. Yes there is hurt but only for the soul purpose of coming out on the better side. Yesterday a portion of hurt was added to my life. It is interesting how one can hurt so badly, yet be very aware of God’s work and His grace.
Yesterday I knew I needed to hurt and feel every emotion that rose to the occasion. There was anger, disappointment, sadness, grief. But I also knew I would wake up in the morning and Hope would join me. Throughout the day yesterday there was never just one emotion. There wasn’t just the pain. No, I could clearly see my blessings and celebrate them. That is such a neat experience. And that is God’s grace!
There is something very beautiful to letting yourself go ‘there’. To not be afraid of pain. At times, it really is good to just be there. Period. I have had people tell me to not dwell on the past. When I have hurt, I have had people step in and tell me all the good things that lay ahead. Apart from the pain, I just don’t understand why people are so afraid of it. Why is there such a need to get away from it as soon as possible? Do people not know there is beauty in pain? That there is beauty in ashes?
Because it is in that pain that God can do amazing things. It is in that pain that God can show that He truly is God and good. It is in pain that God has a way of showing Himself. It is in pain we can show God we truly believe and follow. In pain there is true worship.
And so today I am reminded to let His love seep into the inner recesses of my being. To not close off any part of myself from Him. He knows me inside and out, so I will not try to present a ‘cleaned-up’ version of myself to Him. Wounds that I shut away from the Light of His love will fester and become wormy. So I open myself fully to His transforming Presence.
~ Sarah Young’s Devotional ‘Jesus Calling’ ~
And as I hurt God tells me: ” Come to me continually. I am meant to be the Center of your consciousness, the Anchor of your soul. Your mind will wander from Me, but the question is how far you allow it to wonder.” ~ Sarah Young’s Devotional ‘Jesus Calling’ ~ This tells me it is okay to hurt… it is okay to go there. But as I do this, I should not shut out God’s truth. There is never just pain.
smile. big smile.
XO
So true, we are so afraid of pain and just “sitting” with it! I think people are not good with most things that are uncomfortable. I know I struggle with this! Thank you for sharing your heart and your thoughts Maddy!
Lieve Maddy,ik ben altijd onder de indruk hoe eerlijk jij over je leven schrijft.En vandaag helemaal omdat het zo veel gebeurt dat we geen pijn willen zien in onszelf of elkaar.Als we dat met elkaar zouden willen leren hebben we waarschijnlijk minder psychiaters nodig…….En ook ik heb ondervonden dat in en door pijn heen God je heel dicht naar zich toe trekt…….en Zijn liefde als een helende hand je pijn aanraakt…
Dank je Marja. Fijn je hier te zien.
This is so profound, and so simple at the same time. Beautifully written, and I pray I remember this the next time I want to run from pain.
Thank you for visiting Sarah. It is truly a delight to have you here!!