Coffee for your heart

Dear Sweet Boy 2,

You have already shown so much character.  I am amazed how, an almost teenager like yourself, can put in so much effort to do the right thing, for the sake of others.

I am amazed at your effort and intuition to call me daily.  You are afraid, and you tell me that.  You are afraid of what it is ahead.  You are afraid of us, you and me.  And I understand.  I tell you that I am okay with that, I am afraid too.  You and I will have to climb some mountains together, you and I will have to overcome some thunder and lightning.  But you and I, we can do that.

You are already in my heart, and I fell in love like a momma who falls in love with her newborn baby.  I like you boy 2.  I like you a lot.  Your charisma is charming, your humor hilarious, out of that little body of yours.  You are gifted just like your big brother… you are an amazing set, the 2 of you.  My prayer is that you boys will bring out in one another all the goodness that is inside, like no other person will be able to do.  I pray you will grow to have a bond that goes so deep that it brings forth power, love, forgiveness, generosity, selflessness, and peace.  The world needs you boys.  The world needs your story.

Welcome Boy 2.  Welcome…

 

I love that you are here and I certainly would love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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Pure Joy

… when you find this on your porch !MaddyChristine Hope Photography-7101.L

I love that you are here.  And I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

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It’s okay not to be okay

MaddyChristine Hope Photography-0861.KHDon’t worry, I have been doing really well but I did run into a quote last week that I found very powerful.  This quote hits home for me since I do know life to be a roller coaster.  People, ask for help when life gets hard… You’d be surprised how many are ready to come along side you, sharing the weight.  You will be loved!

 

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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Our Yard

Our first summer in our home.  Beautiful things, we did not plant, kept popping up every where.  Such joy!MaddyChristine Hope Photography-4648.LMaddyChristine Hope Photography-4677.LMaddyChristine Hope Photography-4686.LMaddyChristine Hope Photography-4667.L MaddyChristine Hope Photography-4674.L

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !

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Treasure in Jars of Clay

MaddyChristine Hope Photography-4610.Scripture

Not crushed, not in despair, not abandoned, not destroyed.

I am sitting on the plane, back from Haiti, and taking in these words.  It has been an unbelievably hard week and I need to read those words over and over again.  God is allowing me to be hard pressed on every side, he is allowing me to be perplexed and persecuted and He saw me get struck down.  And he is bringing me to this: His promise that I always carry with me the death of Jesus.  Death is at work in me, so that life can be at work in you (those around me).

I am to be a source of life.  It takes determination, selflesness, constant forgiveness to be a source of life in the midst of the hatred, brokenness, and cruelty I have been through this past week.  At times, I doubt I can do this.  But God brings me back to this treasure I have because of Him.

I do not know the outcome.  I just want to believe it can be done: Every child from a hard place can heal!!

We are back in the therapist’s office as soon as we are home.  I am ready to reconcile and love but I have to wait for our boy to ‘break’.  The question is not: Do we want to keep him?  The question is: Does he want a family?  Does he want us?  And if so, will he submit to the natural authority that parents have over a child?  Will he let himself learn to love and be loved?

Please pray for what we are trying to do in our home.  Please pray for our boy, he is in desperate need for rescue but he has got to submit.  Pray he CAN maintain in a home and accept love.  Pray he stops resisting out of pure trauma and brokenness.  Please pray for perseverance for Tim and myself.  Pray we WILL BE Christ like and continue to know and feel we will not be crushed, in despair, abandoned or destroyed.  This all-surpassing power is from God.  In Him it is possible.  Pray for Hope!

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE ! ~ Also, be sure to check back in (or sign up for ‘Notify me of new comments’) because I may have left you a word or two in response ~

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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Love hurts…

I received a powerful lesson in love a few weeks back.

For the purpose of winning our boy’s heart we have been challenged to let go some of the things I wanted to control, like food intake or doing home work.  Our boy wants independence, but I know he is not ready to carry certain independence. He doesn’t always know what is best for him, that is why children have parents.  I realize that in ‘normal’ families trust was built over the years and a child, to a degree, will let a parent in because there is this realization that he/she just can’t do it alone. Our boy, because of his history, likes to hold onto his independence.  But I know it is my job to help and give direction: I can explain why not eating is not healthy, why sugar can be bad, why protein is important.  I can also guide doing homework or teach how to study.  But if that help is not necessarily wanted… I need to let go, no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel and no matter how big the chance of him ‘messing up’ and falling.

And that is what I have been doing, letting go.  And it is VERY uncomfortable.  So in therapy I asked for some time for me, not our situation, not our boy but ME.  I explained I was very emotional about some things and I was hurting.  I explained that I was uncomfortable with our boy not eating breakfast, or even dinner at times.  I was uncomfortable about the amount of sugar intake, knowing our boy has trouble staying on task in class, to the point of falling asleep.  I was uncomfortable following her lead in letting go.  Our therapist (who is amazing) looked at me with compassion and gentleness: “And this is called love.”  “Excuse me?” I said.  “This is called love Maddy.  This is loving your boy.  You are letting go to the point it hurts you, for the purpose of winning his heart.  And you don’t put your hurt on him, you deal with it, you sit with it, you come here.” I started laughing a bit… I thought our boy smiling was a sign of love.  Our boy being happy would be a sign of love.  Or me feeling good would be a sign of love.  And in this instant I realize pain is a sign of love.

Love hurts.  For now, love hurts.  And it’s not a bad thing.  I realize it is too soon to see the fruits of love, but what I feel is actually a sign that I love.

And I think of Jesus.  Isn’t He our great example of love?  In His love, He was willing to hurt, for the sake of others. What is currently happening in our home is not easy.  It is tough work.  It is painful.  I mentioned before that it is also an honor. I realize I have been called to love like Jesus did (we all are).  And this kind of love I cannot have without Jesus.  This love I cannot express without Jesus.  It is exceptional.  But it can be done.  And it is happening in our home:  a Love that is beyond myself.

 

I love that you are here and I would certainly love to hear from you.  To leave a comment go HERE !                                        ~ Also, be sure to check back in (or sign up for ‘Notify me of new comments’) because I may have left you a word or two in response ~

Coffee for the Heart is a place where we just see ourselves sitting down for coffee and sharing, accept it is on the internet, never the less it is very real.  Go HERE for more stories!

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