Then little children were brought to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them. Jesus said: “Let the little children come to Me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these.” When He had placed His hand on them, He went on from there. Matthew 19
There is a big crowd. Adults and children, from crippled old people to weaned babies. People are happy; Jesus is among us. He is in our presence. The countryside is beautiful with the absence of buildings. There is one big tree that stands out.
Children are invited to come to Jesus. The adults tell us to go. No one is paying attention to Jesus’ friends who want to keep us children away. They feel the need to protect Jesus; He probably does not have time for this. But the children run ahead, so happy to be with Jesus. I don’t run. I simply let the crowd push me up, unsure I am allowed there too. The children are running around Jesus; playing and laughing as He interacts with them. I keep my distance, I feel uncomfortable, still not sure of my place.
Jesus catches my eye and He smiles at me. There’s comfort. I watch everyone play and have fun. Sometimes I laugh at what I see happening, it sure is a fun sight. He catches my eye again. No matter how busy, no matter how much is happening around Him, He spots me from afar. I smile back at Him and I have a warm fuzzy feeling inside. Yet, I am still not playing, still not sure where I belong. I feel out of place, and scared.
Over the next little while this keeps happening, as if Jesus is playing a game with me, without anyone knowing it seems. Joy inside my heart. And then, then Jesus motions me to come. Very naturally the children jump in, they hadn’t even noticed I was not with them. “Maddy, come on” they go, “Maddy come…”
Still unsure I get closer and when I am at arms length Jesus pick me up and sets me on His lap. He puts His hand on my head and pushes me gently against His chest. He knows. As He continues to play, laugh and talk with all these children I just sit on His lap, His chest and hand being my comfort. I find Rest and I fall asleep. After I stayed there for some time, Jesus carries me over to the tree. Without waking me up He lays be down. There’s more children there, lovely resting. Children play, children sleep.
I belong. Never did I not belong.
The tree is a comfortable place. I am not bothered by it’s stature. When I wake up I know it a lot better, I belong. Now I giggle too. I join in! I don’t feel out of place at all. At times Jesus still plays the eye game with me. He still happens to catch my eye at the right time. And He winks. Him and I know. There is this sweet connection and it tells me I can trust. I can enjoy. I can play, and cry, and sleep. I can talk, or be quiet. Whenever I look at Him, He notices as if He was waiting for it.
I have grown. I still sit on Jesus’ lap, listening but also chattering a whole lot. I am not that little girl anymore, still a girl, always His little girl, but now, I notice. I notice the Maddy’s in the crowd. And with Jesus I play the eye game with them. I wink them in.
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