People respond differently to my posts… some love that I write openly about my process and the processes in our home, they say that it is good to get it out there for others to read and be encouraged by. For another there is this added concern for our boy.
I listen closely to what dear people to my heart share with me. I know they share concerns because they love me. And so I stood still and thought about what I share here on line. Am I saying too much? Am I sharing things that aren’t mine to share? Am I revealing too much about our boy?
I have come to the conclusion that this is not the case, at least for now. My heart may shift as I continue to process this but for now I would like to point out, incase others are concerned, that what I share is not necessarily about our boy. The things I write about is what any foster parent goes through, in that sense anything I write about our boy could be taken as ‘a general rule’ of what a child from hard places goes through. Our boy is no different from any other child from the system. They have a hard time bonding, it’s normal. They push away to test, it’s normal. They ‘act out’ which can’t even be considered acting out because it really is not, it is testing to see if new potential parents will stay.
I share for the purpose of hopefully encouraging others. I share about my struggles and growth through those struggles. That is my point to writing: to be vulnerable, and showing how I mess up, how I hurt and how I change and grow. Besides the fact I write for me, it is important for me to process that way. And like I have always done, I will think twice (probably a lot more actually) before I post something, I will always ask myself the question if I share things that are not mine to share because it reveals details about someone other than myself.
We see deep deep good in our boy. And any hardship I write about says nothing about him. It says something about where he’s come from. I don’t need to share any details about that, THAT is not my right. But where ever he comes from, everyone who sees us knows he isn’t our biological child. And that fact equals why it is not necessarily easy in our home. There is a past with any child who is not growing up in his or her original home. And any hardship I write about also shows how much growing I have to do in parenting a teenager from a hard place.
I hope this is making sense. And if you were concerned, I hope I took some concern away for you. We have learned quickly we can’t do this alone and being online has helped me many times in my life. We can just log in and find people ‘like us’. On the side of my page I share how I do not live for myself but for God. Writing openly about our struggles is living that out to me.
I thank the person who raised concern. I love that she is willing to get vulnerable herself and taking a risk with me by sharing. I love you!! I appreciate you. And I love who we are in our friendship.
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