Writing under pressure… It is very simple, on Thursday evening a word prompt is shared by Kate and on Friday we give ourselves 5 minutes to write.
5 minutes!! And without a grammar check or editing we post whatever came to our creative minds…
This week’s word is REACH…
Ready… Set… Go…
All of a sudden it was gone. One moment from the next.
Peace was gone.
My body was restless, so was my mind.
My face all tense, pressure on my heart, heavy legs, and a headache.
I pray. It doesn’t help.
I try to get distraction and turn on a show on our computer.
But I can’t sit still. I sit up, I lay down, I sit back up.
I get a drink of water.
We pray together, it doesn’t help.
I feel awful. I can’t seem to get a grip.
We have found several houses now, finally. Will we finally move?
I want to control but I can’t. It is out of my hands. And I lost peace.
My mind racing, my body pounding. My head getting worse.
And that is when I start to reach. I try to see…
Oh I need to see.
Ann being my inspiration for this. I grab my journal and start jotting down things I see.
It is hard. I see nothing. I only feel… and I am not comfortable.
26. Condensation on the outside of my cold glass of water
27. Tea pot on a tea light
28. The green of plants inside our home
29. Glasses on my nose so I can read
30. A delicate neckless around my neck
31. Nightly sounds
After jotting down all the way to number 46 I sense it. Peace is here.
I rest. My mind rests. So does my body.
I am not in control. I don’t want to be in control.
I lay in my husband’s arms and I continue writing down what I see.
47. Husband caressing my leg
48. A haircut
49. Peace at my disposal
4.14 am I wake up. It’s happening again. Peace is gone. Anxiousness taking over. Mind racing. I am tired.
After battling for 30 minutes and get up an grab my journal.
If I don’t reach nothing happens.
55. Moon light
56. A wonderful mattress to sleep on
57. I see our quilt and I realize I have come to love sewing
58. White all around me: walls, sheets, quilt
59. A hot body next to me
60. The sounds of a sleeping husband
61. A breeze through the open window
And there it is… I have reached and peace finds me once again.
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From hopeless to hope.
From hurting to healing.
From surviving to living.
From crying to laughing.
That is my story. It wasn't easy.
The road of healing is the hardest one to choose. Sometimes it seems easier to bury or hide. But healing and recovery are possible. With God all things are possible! But it doesn't mean God does for us. It is my experience that I had to choose and work hard myself, with God on my side. God doesn't fix for me, He fixes through me. It is a painful process worth living.
The story continues.
The chapter may be closed.
The book however isn't.
I have reached the wonderful chapter of marriage.
2012 was my year. I love sharing life now and never want to forget what God has given me and done for me. Redemption is a word that was said most on our wedding day. We each have suffered much and God deserves all praise for having been faithful and leading in times of trouble. He overcame and His redemptive power is amazing and I want to witness to that. We do not live for ourselves but for Him.
Like I said, the story continues.
With it's ups and downs. Embracing that journey is what makes life life. It's not important where I go, it's how I go.
Isaiah 62: 1-5
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
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