It was hard getting home. Tim and I had such a good month away that I was sad to go home, and once home I was even sad to be home. I needed time to adjust.
It was interesting to see that in Burkina none of our concerns from home mattered. There are certain things we’ve been focusing on lately, even to the point it consumed me. When away the past month we spoke about all those things and how it all seemed irrelevant in light of what we were doing in Burkina. How would we respond when we got back? Would we just be consumed over those ‘things’ again? It’s certainly not what we wanted.
I don’t want to be consumed by anything but with the matters of the Lord. I have written before about heart’s desires going unanswered. In Burkina it didn’t matter. Tim and I have been consumed by wanting to move. We live too far from community and church and it is bothering us, it aches. In Burkina it didn’t matter. I desired to go home with a new passion… focusing on the things that truly matter and on things that are way more important than my ‘things’.
And yet, what I feared is happening. I am getting consumed by the things here. The old things pop back up and seem to matter. And it saddens me. There are better things to be consumed by, like focusing on making this world a better place, wherever, however, but that has got to be my focus. I have lived a past and God has used it to write a story of redemption through my life. Sharing that has got to matter. Seeing need all around me, that has got to matter.
The first morning home I couldn’t wait to sit down with God and just be. He showed up as such a loving Father. Guess what He told me? He told me that ‘my things’ matter to Him! The things I get consumed by are obviously important to me, and so they are important to Him. That was a beautiful first awaking.
God said something else, something He’s been saying to me before. He said: “Don’t pray, let me do!” Sounds familiar? He said: “Don’t worry about being back, don’t fear it. Don’t think about moving, about ministry, about what you will do. Just let me be! BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.”
I desire to live a life of sacrifice. I do pray, but I try not to be consumed. I try to pray and just see what happens next. My prayer sounds like this: “God, open my eyes to what You want me to see.” I can desire many things, but I cannot make anything happen. I want to acknowledge where God is at work, and I desire to join Him. How, where… only God can work out those details. It is not good to be consumed. It is best to be still and know that God is God.
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This was also shared at Holley’s Coffee For Your Heart. To read more personal stories or get encouraged, go HERE!
From hopeless to hope.
From hurting to healing.
From surviving to living.
From crying to laughing.
That is my story. It wasn't easy.
The road of healing is the hardest one to choose. Sometimes it seems easier to bury or hide. But healing and recovery are possible. With God all things are possible! But it doesn't mean God does for us. It is my experience that I had to choose and work hard myself, with God on my side. God doesn't fix for me, He fixes through me. It is a painful process worth living.
The story continues.
The chapter may be closed.
The book however isn't.
I have reached the wonderful chapter of marriage.
2012 was my year. I love sharing life now and never want to forget what God has given me and done for me. Redemption is a word that was said most on our wedding day. We each have suffered much and God deserves all praise for having been faithful and leading in times of trouble. He overcame and His redemptive power is amazing and I want to witness to that. We do not live for ourselves but for Him.
Like I said, the story continues.
With it's ups and downs. Embracing that journey is what makes life life. It's not important where I go, it's how I go.
Isaiah 62: 1-5
For Zion's sake I will not keep silent, for Jerusalem's sake I will not remain quiet, till her vindication shines out like the dawn, her salvation like a blazing torch. The nations will see your vindication, and all kings your glory; you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the Lord bestow. You will be a crown of splendor in the Lord's hand, a royal diadem in the hand of your God. No longer will they call you Deserted, or name your land Desolate. But you will be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for the Lord will take delight in you, and your land will be married. As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.
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